Toasty’s Trips Visits Toys R Us!
Toasty, lead singer of Sunbelt Ryders visits Toys R Us on his latest trip. Follow along if you want, if you don’t it’s your loss.
First a quick stop at the restrooms, I know all this excitement must have left you with a bad urge to pee! Go on in, I’ll wait here. (I promise.)
Okay good, I hope you washed your hands. Now check out this sweet retro style Transformers poster in the hallway. Sweet. Let’s see what other treasures we can find in this dingy Toys R Us.
Gooey kind of looks like a Garbage Pail Kid in plush form, or a very stoned version of Oscar the Grouch, if we can assume Oscar the Grouch wasn’t constantly stoned in the first place – he did live in a trash can after all. This funky, furry toy doesn’t seem to exhibit any of the ‘Stink’ mentioned in its brand’s namesake, at least nothing that stands out from the general stench already lingering inside of this Toys R Us. In fact the 9 inch version of “Gooey” here isn’t exactly all that ‘Little’ either, or gooey for that matter (thank God), but he does come in his own plastic trash can, and he does appear to be some sort of monster.
Don’t worry “Stinky Little Trash Monster” you’re still batting a .400 and your not-so-stinky, not-so-gooey status can be our little secret. You do live in a plastic garbage can, and in my world that makes you alright.
Next found “treasure”: Star Wars Millenium Falcon Messenger Bag
Technically made to hold Lego Star Wars figures, this bag could theoretically be put to use as some sort of all-purpose backpack, though it is a bit oddly shaped, stiff and probably wouldn’t hold very many items that weren’t Lego-sized. I just know there’s somebody out there stuffing one of these things with weed and trekking around town with it slung over their shoulder though, probably to complement some form of Star Wars branded clothing made of hemp, and for that I applaud them.
Continuing down the Lego isle it’s: Lego Monster Fighters
I have to admit I was never a big Legos fan, even growing up. I didn’t turn down a Lego-related gift or throw little yellow Lego men in anyone’s face and call them the spawn of Lucifer, spit toward their general direction and then walk away in disgust with great disdain for their mere presence. Not quite. But I didn’t go out of my way to amass a huge collection of them like I did G.I. Joe figures or Nintendo games, either. I’ve been into horror as long as I can remember, however, and on that count this set had me at “Monster”.
Upon closer inspection I think I like the background image here more than the actual Legos – take away that sweet background and the whole thing kinda falls apart. That castle is pretty cool though.
Awkward! Looks like we’ve walked in on these two having an intense debate about gay marriage! Batman’s taking a staunch stance against it and this has clearly ticked off Captain America. Let’s leave these two alone and just move on for now.